Musings from the Yellow Line: The Lazy Thief

I haven’t taken the metro to work in at least a month, if not more. Though it often evokes some interesting blog posts, it’s just not worth it. I have to take a shuttle that is inevitably late, from my apartment to the metro, and then aallll the way down the yellow line, and then the red. On average it takes about an hour, but factoring in the late shuttle and the delayed yellow line, it’s closer to 90min.

Gas, as we all know, is expensive, and parking in DC is atrocious, but when it comes down to it I’d rather spend 45 minutes in traffic with the windows rolled down and music turned up, than take the metro. I’d rather spend $10 per day on parking and probably more per day on gas, than take the metro. I actually enjoy driving with all of the other assholes in DC; I enjoy being cut off and then giving the finger; I enjoy being frightened as helicopters going to the Pentagon fly what seems to be only a few feet above my car; I enjoy playing the daily death match with the oversized metro buses and irate cab drivers.

Today, though, I rode the metro. My parents had an extra ticket to the Nationals game (vs. Pirates) and asked if I wanted to join. “Sure!” I said, jumping at the opportunity to go to a ballgame. In the end, it made more sense for me to take the metro to work, and then take the metro to the game as well. So that’s what I did.

I woke up this morning, dreading the metro, and making any and every excuse to myself to drive. Somehow I dragged myself to the corner and waited for the shuttle. It was late. The shuttle ride went along with no problem, and when I got to the metro the yellow line was scheduled to arrive in only one minute. Hurrah! Things seemed to be going well. I boarded the train and got a seat right next to the door, facing front, with no one sitting next to me. I quietly celebrated my good luck.

See that last sentence? That’s where I went wrong. Never celebrate your good luck, and if you ever do, patiently wait for the other shoe to drop.

I had my Sodoku book with me so spent most of the train ride finishing a puzzle. With the puzzle complete, I put the booklet away, put my purse on my lap, my computer bag between my feet, and closed my eyes for a little pre-work nap.

A few stops passed, and we arrived at L’Efant plaza. I kept my eyes closed. Suddenly, I felt my computer bag moving by my feet. I opened my eyes to see a man standing over me, grabbing the bag. He looked up, saw my eyes open, and jumped backwards a bit, still holding my bag. As he started to walk off the train, I instinctively stuck my leg out in front of him and half-tripped him. It must have done the trick because he dropped my bag and ran. The doors to the metro closed. It took maybe 15 seconds for all of this to happen.

Weird, no? The train wasn’t crowded as it usually is during rush hour, but it wasn’t empty either, so it’s hard to say if anyone would have helped me had he actually taken my bag. The people waiting to board the train stood there and watched this all happen. Some decided to push past the man and completely ignore what was happening as they boarded the train. I didn’t really yell for help or anything, I think all I said was, “hey!” The entire experience was surreal. I hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet. I was never scared, or angry, I was simply confused. Why had this man tried to take my computer in front of all of these people? And, why had he given up so easily? It was a tired, lazy attempt at theft, especially considering that a 20-something year old woman, who was also half-asleep, stopped him.

That’s my story. Tonight I will take the metro to RFK, but you can bet your life savings I’ll be driving to work tomorrow.